life as we know it, or should i say - as we don't expect it.

have you ever been at that point where your whole world feels like it just came completely crashing down right in front of you? and no matter how hard you try, you just cant seem to stop it? where even if someone asks if you're ok. you just break down right there, to the point where you just cant hide your pain any longer? i'm sure you have, i'm sure we all have.

what makes it worse is when someone then makes that dreaded comment 'just remember, whatever you're going through. there will always be someone going through much worse' its at that point where your whole body hurts from the mental pain you're feeling that them few words just make you feel like you cant have feelings. like whatever you're going through will never be bad enough for the world to care. 

without being selfish, at that point where you feel so completely broken, to you, what you're feeling is the worst pain ever, it makes you feel like your drowning, and like your ready to end everything.... ready to give up.

thats where i was last night, it pushed me so far that i walked into the kitchen, opened the cupboard door, picked up all the medication and counted to three.... i began thinking and thats when i remembered everyone i loved. the people who loved me, my family and friends. i picked up the medication ready to gamble my life away, when i pushed it into the cupboard, went upstairs and thought about how close i had just came to destroying and hurting the most important people in my life. i came so close to death because i didn't realise that even though i felt so low right now, that in a few days, weeks, months or years, it will get better, there will be light at the end of the tunnel. i just have to find the strength and stick it out..

so don't give up, keep fighting.

judgement.

Being a female, it only takes me to walk down the street and for someone to stare to make me feel like the world is judging me. These days, there’s so much pressure on girls, that it’s simple impossible to feel even slightly good enough. From models, to celebrities, the appearance of what the media thinks a girl should encounter is much different to the appearance of an average girl, and that’s where the problems begin.

It was just the other day that I walked into NewLook, when I caught a glance of myself in a mirror and already I started picking out all my faults. From my big forehead to my sticky out ears, along with my body becoming bigger from the lack of exercise and healthy eating. Not only is it the faults we pick out about ourselves but also the faults others point out to us. I sit on instagram for at least an hour everyday looking at how perfect other girls are and just weeping at how I will never look like that.

I’ve now got to the point where I have decided that I am going to become more into my fitness and improve how I feel about myself. I believe every girl should love the way they appear, but if for any reason, you are unhappy, then yes, I think it is good to work towards improving that. I don’t agree with going to the extremes. Like starving yourself, but becoming healthier, eating correctly and exercising more are great ways to improve your self esteem.

The media is a lie, the girls you see modelling on tv and in magazines, are average girls like us, that have been so extremely edited that really, it’s a completely different person.

All of our differences and faults are what makes us stand out. So instead of judging yourself on it, find away to emphasize it. Show it off. Be proud.