life as we know it, or should i say - as we don't expect it.

have you ever been at that point where your whole world feels like it just came completely crashing down right in front of you? and no matter how hard you try, you just cant seem to stop it? where even if someone asks if you're ok. you just break down right there, to the point where you just cant hide your pain any longer? i'm sure you have, i'm sure we all have.

what makes it worse is when someone then makes that dreaded comment 'just remember, whatever you're going through. there will always be someone going through much worse' its at that point where your whole body hurts from the mental pain you're feeling that them few words just make you feel like you cant have feelings. like whatever you're going through will never be bad enough for the world to care. 

without being selfish, at that point where you feel so completely broken, to you, what you're feeling is the worst pain ever, it makes you feel like your drowning, and like your ready to end everything.... ready to give up.

thats where i was last night, it pushed me so far that i walked into the kitchen, opened the cupboard door, picked up all the medication and counted to three.... i began thinking and thats when i remembered everyone i loved. the people who loved me, my family and friends. i picked up the medication ready to gamble my life away, when i pushed it into the cupboard, went upstairs and thought about how close i had just came to destroying and hurting the most important people in my life. i came so close to death because i didn't realise that even though i felt so low right now, that in a few days, weeks, months or years, it will get better, there will be light at the end of the tunnel. i just have to find the strength and stick it out..

so don't give up, keep fighting.

judgement.

Being a female, it only takes me to walk down the street and for someone to stare to make me feel like the world is judging me. These days, there’s so much pressure on girls, that it’s simple impossible to feel even slightly good enough. From models, to celebrities, the appearance of what the media thinks a girl should encounter is much different to the appearance of an average girl, and that’s where the problems begin.

It was just the other day that I walked into NewLook, when I caught a glance of myself in a mirror and already I started picking out all my faults. From my big forehead to my sticky out ears, along with my body becoming bigger from the lack of exercise and healthy eating. Not only is it the faults we pick out about ourselves but also the faults others point out to us. I sit on instagram for at least an hour everyday looking at how perfect other girls are and just weeping at how I will never look like that.

I’ve now got to the point where I have decided that I am going to become more into my fitness and improve how I feel about myself. I believe every girl should love the way they appear, but if for any reason, you are unhappy, then yes, I think it is good to work towards improving that. I don’t agree with going to the extremes. Like starving yourself, but becoming healthier, eating correctly and exercising more are great ways to improve your self esteem.

The media is a lie, the girls you see modelling on tv and in magazines, are average girls like us, that have been so extremely edited that really, it’s a completely different person.

All of our differences and faults are what makes us stand out. So instead of judging yourself on it, find away to emphasize it. Show it off. Be proud.

stress, stress oh and a lovely time at my dads!

So im guessing everyone has heard about instagram, well you can follow me here-http://instagram.com/zoeeisok
this is where i'll put all my latest updates, and where you can see my life in pictures:)

Lately i've been SUPER busy with school, and i can finally say I ONLY HAVE MY MATHS EXAMS LEFT :D:D

year 11 is so stressful, and i cant believe how quickly the 5 years at secondary school went. CLASS 0F 13! On the 28th of june i will have officially finished. although on friday (24th of may) i was told i no longer have to go to school except for maths, woo! i'm so excited for my new life to begin, but super scared about no longer being a little kid. it'll be emotional to say goodbye to some of the amazing friends which i made but i guess thats the whole idea of growing up right?

i'll be going to sixth form for 2 years to do a levels, and then maybe university. but i'm thinking about most likely having a career in make up artistry, although i'm still very undecided:P

just over a week ago i went to my dads;

we had a lovely time:)

i have 1 sister and 2 brothers but my dad has a new girlfriend and she has 4 kids of her own which means when were all round my dads house, theres 8 kids! which i have to admit, its great! and theres never a dull moment. i live with my mum and i love her to bits, and see my dad often (and love him too of course) i wouldn't say i come from a broken family, because actually, i'm very lucky to have such caring parents.

The Beginning

Okay, so im just another girl. just another person wanting to blog. but we never know, it could go well... Right?
after many months of wanting to begin my blogging life, I can finally say, that I have picked up the snorkel and goggles, and dived in.  
I'm just an average girl, nothing special, i'm in my final days of year 11. and what a stress!! 
as i sit in the classroom waiting for the next exam, i can feel my heart pound from the stress i am feeling. is this really my time? am i really about to sit the exams which define my future?
its when you sit in this position that reality punches you in the face and you realise that time really does go quick. too quick to be precise.
i talk to my friends about how they've planned their future. and the amazing jobs they want to go into.
as i listen, i dread the moment when they ask 'so what career do you want?' 
sitting there knowing that still to this day, my final days and weeks in year 11, i still don't know.
now im not saying i haven't chosen my next steps, because i have. but im talking about after sixth form. 
thats where im stuck, thats where i really do not know.